WYDM 06
Ethan found himself gripped by an inexplicable sense of foreboding.
Even after the doctor noticed something was seriously wrong and left first, Leri hesitated before him for such a long time.
Even Ethan, whoâd been waiting to hear what she wanted to say, was starting to feel a bit angry.
âIf you canât speak, come back tomorrow. Iâm tired today.â
Though it was early, he was exhausted from dragging his injured leg on a long journey. He planned to rest from now on and properly eat or bathe tomorrow, so his head felt very heavy.
Leri flinched, her shoulders trembling in surprise, then bowed deeply.
âI apologize, Your Grace. Please rest. The matter⊠Iâll tell you tomorrow.â
Leri agonized until the end, but seeing Ethanâs exhausted state, she quickly wrapped up and withdrew.
Watching Ethan climb into bed with his injured leg stretched out stiffly, Leri turned off the lights in the room and carefully closed the door.
It was behavior sheâd never seen before, so it bothered her a bit, but his head was too dizzy to dwell on it.
The moment he struggled onto the bed and laid his head on the pillow, sleep exploded over him so overwhelmingly he couldnât control it, and he fell deeply asleep, thoughts and all.
Yet despite falling asleep so laboriously, he always woke at this hour. When they needed night watch outdoors, heâd take this shift.
Around 2 AM, when he unfailingly woke. That time when everything was so quiet there seemed to be no sound, no presence at all.
Though Ethan had no night watch to stand, he didnât close his opened eyes again and got up from bed.
He moved his leg a bit carefully, the one the doctor had earnestly warned him about aggravating, but otherwise got down from the bed quite calmly and stood firmly on the floor.
Swish, thud, swish, thud.
His footsteps rang out a bit loudly because his leg wasnât well. Not loud enough to wake anyone, but the quietness made the sound seem to echo.
Ethan broke that silence and left his room at that hour anyway.
In the massive ducal estate, leaving his room led to a corridor stretching long toward the central hall. And beyond those stairs, a similar corridor continued.
The path felt a bit longer today, but he slowly walked along the corridor, dragging his heavy leg.
On the opposite side was a room someone else was using. She was quite a deep sleeper, so even when he visited like this, there were many nights she slept unaware of anything.
He grasped the doorknob and carefully opened it. Through the crack of the soundlessly, motionlessly opening door, he carefully entered.
The room was quiet. He wanted to say it was quiet as always, but⊠it was quiet in a slightly different way than usual.
Quiet meant no sound, but he couldnât understand what exactly was different and found himself bewildered for a moment.
He examined carefully from the roomâs entrance. This place, decorated to a size perfect for one person, was moderately splendid and moderately pretty.
A place prepared for one person alone.
All the objects were in their places. In a space for one person alone, objects for that person alone slept quietly.
âAhâŠâ
But the one person who should be sleeping on the bed wasnât visible. Where⊠did she go? Had she briefly left her bed? This had never happened beforeâŠ
She always slept like the dead, so around this time heâd enter this room without any worry. Looking at her sleeping face once before leaving⊠was the reason he struggled back to the estate.
But she wasnât there. The different quietness from other times⊠was truly the quietness of nothing at all.
* * *
âYou worked hard. Rest before you go.â
When Sehera arrived at her destination, she set down the two bags and pressed about two gold coins into Willinâs hand as he stood hesitating until the end.
Sheâd heard from Leri that there was an allowance Ethan gave. However, she found it uncomfortable and didnât want to receive it.
Noticing her feelings, Leri tried to deliver the allowance Ethan gave under other pretenses, but she never accepted it in the end.
Sehera firmly refused, and Ethan wouldnât take the money back, so Leri had no choice but to keep holding onto it. The money Leri gave her as she was leaving was part of the allowance sheâd been keeping.
And what she was pressing into Willinâs hand now was exactly that. The first official use would be giving travel money to a servant, so it seemed like it would be good fortune for his return journey.
âMy lady, about returning⊠what do you think?â
âThat place isnât where I belong.â
âYouâll have a hard time finding smooth days here too.â
Willinâs words were right. This place truly had nothing left.
Yes. Perhaps here wasnât where I belonged either.
âWhat can I do if itâs not smooth? This is my home. Iâve just returned to where I should be. Donât worry and go back. There will be Planer people here too.â
It was very hard to look at her smiling awkwardly, but Willin had no choice but to turn away in the end.
Sehera stood watching for a whileâWillinâs back as he turned away with difficulty, and the departing carriage.
It would have been so nice if Count and Countess were inside now, rushing out to greet her, or at the very least if the maids whoâd spent pleasant times with her had come out to meet her.
Sehera turned around and moved her steps vigorously. This was what sheâd chosen, what sheâd said sheâd do.
Sheâd let go of everything and entered Planer completely. Now she was Sehera Planer. Now it was truly time to live as Planer, no way around it.
âIâm home.â
When she opened the front gate and entered, there was no one inside. The door opened quite naturally, which only made it seem vulnerable.
The small greeting she gave wasnât words thrown hoping someone was inside, but rather a greeting to the estate itself.
Sehera held trunks in both hands, propped the closing door with her shoulder and pushed, barely managing to enter inside.
Was there really no one left?
Well, this house had been empty for quite a long time, so there was no way anyone would remain.
It was disappointing. Still, if there was at least one familiar face, it would have been easier to do things.
âIâm home!â
Was she excited? Not that. But being able to shout this loudly with a smile in this situation felt refreshing and somewhat liberating⊠it gave her that kind of feeling.
The single shout in the estateâs hall quickly faded and dimmed but ultimately returned to her.
In the empty estate, Sehera felt a very small sense of liberation and deep loneliness instead.
Though when that shout returned as an echo, her face flushed even though she was alone.
âReally⊠no oneâs here.â
Compared to how boldly sheâd entered, she felt quite deflated.
Sehera decided to reflect on her life where sheâd been spacing out forever and pull herself together. She lifted the trunk again, which was even burdensome to drag.
Unlike the ducal estate, the Countâs estate wasnât that large. In the room next to the one sheâd used, stairs were visible, making it a space practically like a storage room. The space itself was large, so it seemed good for storing clothes.
While Count Planerâher fatherâwas alive, heâd organized all the estateâs spaces well according to their use. He was someone full of affection not only for his title but even for the estate.
So she organized her luggage there first. She thought cleaning would be the first necessity, but strangely there wasnât as much dust as expected.
Opening the bag, she saw belongings organized really concisely and neatly.
Since sheâd packed each item while suppressing hesitation and wavering, it was packed quite cleanly.
Now there was only this place. Taking the food ingredients Leri had prepared, saying sheâd worry about what to eat right away, Sehera headed to the kitchen.
It was clean. Though it was a place where people didnât live, inside was cleanâthe storage, rooms, corridors, even the kitchenâlike someone occasionally came to look after it.
Actually, sheâd felt it from the entrance, so sheâd made sounds and waited.
Even if not her family or the employees from back then, since it was an empty house, there might be people whoâd moved in to live there.
But it was quiet with no one there.
Sehera gathered the food ingredients and piled them in one corner of the kitchen, then left the kitchen as is. Since it was the innermost space, she could look into other spaces while coming out.
Sehera wasnât being rushed, so she began looking around slowly.
Inside there was truly nothing, and only quietness filled the space.
âI wonder if he returned.â
âHeâ naturally meant Ethan. Sheâd never called his name, so even when alone, not calling his name had become a habit. The person who should be closest was this distant.
âI hope he came back without getting hurt this timeâŠâ
Actually, when Ethan returned injured and such, when the quiet dawn with no one came, sheâd quietly leave her room and cross the corridor.
He seemed sensitive and woke easily from sleep normally, so how much more so if he was in pain?
That man always had sharp hearing.
So once, when she secretly entered his room in the middle of the night, she ended up getting scolded instead.
Ethan, who sheâd been certain was asleep, woke at the sound of her dress hem brushing, and she was immediately kicked out.
Though it felt unfair, she obediently withdrew, feeling sheâd disturbed his sleep.
Even if heâd let her in, there wasnât much she could do.
Just occasionally wringing out wet towels to lower his fever and placing them on him, wiping his body here and there, or calling the doctor as quickly as possible when he complained of pain.
But⊠he wouldnât even let her do that. Sehera couldnât bear it.
âAnyway, please donât get hurt.â
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