TRGDP 37

Chapter 37: A Selfish Decision

“Is she really okay?”

Loic ran a hand over his face, looking worried.

“Aside from a bit of anemia, there are no serious issues,” the doctor, Hosen, answered nervously.

Despite working at the Grand Duke’s castle for nearly a year, this was his first time seeing the Grand Duke up close. Usually, his job was to treat knights returning from battle, not to care for the lord and lady of the castle.

Thanks to the Grand Duchess’s collapse, he finally had a chance to make an impression. But the moment he saw the Grand Duke, he quickly gave up on any dreams of advancement.

The Grand Duke had an imposing presence. Just standing near him was enough to make Hosen’s legs tremble.

And right now, the Grand Duke looked very displeased.

His perfectly sculpted face was marred by a deep frown, making Hosen’s throat go dry.

“How does it make sense for someone to faint without an illness?” Loic asked, his voice cold.

“Some noble ladies have frail constitutions and faint from time to time,” Hosen explained cautiously.

“Because she’s weak? Are you saying she doesn’t have enough energy just to stay conscious?”

Loic and his aide, Whitley, looked at him as if they had never heard of such a thing.

‘Of course, they wouldn’t understand. These men are naturally strong and have probably never even had a fever in their lives,’ Hosen thought.

Hosen was originally from the central region of the empire.

Back home, he had been considered sturdy, but compared to the northern warriors, he was nothing.

To them, fainting from weakness seemed absurd, but in the capital, noblewomen often collapsed from wearing tight dresses or from sudden shock.

Sleeping for a whole day after fainting wasn’t unusual either.

But something told Hosen that saying that out loud wouldn’t be a good idea.

“She has been under a lot of stress adjusting to a new environment. Now that she’s relaxing, the exhaustion must have caught up with her. She just needs rest,” Hosen said carefully.

“Rest? Is there no better treatment?” Loic asked, frowning.

“I can prescribe some medicine, but eating well and sleeping properly is the best cure.”

Loic’s eyes narrowed in displeasure.

In the end, Hosen had to promise to check on the Grand Duchess daily and prioritize her health above all else before he was finally dismissed.

Even after the doctor left, Loic remained deep in thought.

“I need to hire a lady’s maid for her,” he finally muttered, tapping his fingers against the armrest.

“Are you sure?” Whitley asked hesitantly. He was asking if Loic was really okay with bringing another woman into the castle.

“I can’t just have her surrounded by regular maids forever,” Loic said.

“That’s true, but…”

“I should have done this sooner.”

A deep frown appeared on Loic’s face.

“I’ve been too irresponsible.”

His voice was heavy with guilt. Whitley gave him a sympathetic look.

“Your Grace had your reasons,” Whitley reassured him.

“She’s so weak. Why didn’t she ever say anything?” Loic said bitterly.

He knew she was delicate—her arms were so thin they looked like they could break, and her waist was small enough to fit in one hand.

But she always smiled brightly, so he never gave it much thought.

“What if she faints again? Someone needs to be by her side at all times.”

Loic rubbed his forehead, looking frustrated.

“Tell Perel to find suitable young ladies from noble families. The Grand Duchess probably doesn’t know anyone here.”

“Understood.”

“Oh, and what was that maid’s name again?”

Whitley, who was about to leave, turned back.

“Her name is Leta.”

“The Grand Duchess liked her?”

“Yes. She left the decision up to you, but she asked if you could be lenient.”

Loic hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“Give her a week’s suspension.”

Whitley paused, looking slightly surprised.

Until now, anyone caught stealing or smuggling things out of the Grand Duke’s castle had always been severely punished.

It was a warning to the other servants.

“Didn’t the Grand Duchess ask for mercy?”

The Grand Duke avoided eye contact as he spoke.

“Norton already confirmed everything properly, so it’s fine. Do as she wishes.”

Once Whitely also left the room, Loic let out a small sigh.

‘Is this really just a simple fever?’

Loic knew that magical backlash from a curse usually happened suddenly. It wasn’t the kind of pain that built up slowly, like the Grand Duchess’s illness.

Even though he understood this, he couldn’t stop worrying. What if she collapsed because of him?

Since she arrived, he hadn’t experienced a single episode of magical outbursts.

Not only that—his body had been feeling lighter every day. Every time she tied his cravat or held his arm, his overflowing magic had flowed out smoothly, like water.

But if she got sick because of this, then the right thing to do was to send her away immediately.

Sitting by her bedside, canceling all his plans, Loic firmly made up his mind.

— “…Grand Duke?”

However, the moment the Grand Duchess opened her clear eyes, Loic realized something.

His decision had been nothing but a weak, pathetic lie.

‘You selfish bastard.’

Deep inside, he never really intended to let her go.

Loic had always felt wronged by fate.

Ever since he inherited the dragon’s curse from his father, his entire life had been nothing but duty.

There was never a reward—just an endless series of tasks.

While others lived their lives naturally, Loic was trapped in unbearable pain, suppressing the urge to end everything, barely enduring day by day.

For him, misfortune was normal.

Happiness was nothing more than the rare relief of a night without pain.

But from the very first moment he met the Grand Duchess…

From the moment he held her in his arms…

His time had finally started moving.

Suddenly, he could see things he had never noticed before. He found himself wanting things he never cared about before.

The closer he got to her, the more confused he became.

A part of him wanted to enjoy this new feeling to the fullest.

But another part of him feared that once he got used to it, he would never be able to go back to his old life.

— “Grand Duke, I like it here.”

At those words, something inside him burst open.

She liked it here?

Until now, she had only ever said she would stay in the North.

But she had never said she liked it.

Of course, there had to be a reason why she couldn’t return to the capital.

He knew that.

But still, he felt relieved to hear her say it.

“I like it.”

That one simple phrase made his deepest, most selfish desires rise to the surface.

He was happy.

So happy that he felt like he was losing his mind.

His blood boiled, and shivers ran down his spine.

For the first time, he truly understood his own feelings.

‘I’ve been waiting for these words all along.’

A reason not to push her away.

‘Does she mean she likes the North? Or Blenheim? Maybe she just likes living in the Grand Castle?’

It didn’t matter.

How could he question her when she had injured her hands making gifts for the knights?

The warmth she radiated wasn’t something he could resist.

It would be foolish to push her away now.

Instead of fearing this warmth, he should embrace it while he could.

She set the contract for one year.

If she chose to leave, he wouldn’t stop her.

He wasn’t shameless enough to beg her to stay forever.

He wouldn’t ruin her life just because he wanted a moment of peace.

But until then, at least for this short time, he wanted to enjoy it.

He had already been abandoned by the goddess.

If he was doomed to suffer for the rest of his life, then couldn’t he, just for this one year, live like everyone else?

When she left, he might regret it forever.

But that was a problem for the future.

‘She is my wife. I won’t keep my distance anymore.’

That night, after much thought, Loic made a selfish decision.

For the first and last time—he would live for himself.