AYR 40

Empty Coffin

Sirencia was a place where rain was scarce. Especially in summer, when water was needed for agriculture, it was even more so.

Although a lot of snow fell in winter, it immediately froze upon falling and then melted away in spring, so it was of little help to agriculture. But strangely enough, while snow fell tediously often, rain did not fall as much.

It was a harsh place in many ways. It seemed as if humans also had to become harsh to survive here.

After a long time, a welcome rain finally fell in Sirencia. The cool raindrops moistened the hearts of people who had been dried out by various matters.

But Lahart’s mood was crawling on the floor.

It had rained like this from dawn on the day of Iren’s funeral. To him, rain was nothing but a reminder of that day.

“D*mn it.”

His heart suddenly clenched tight. A curse burst out from Lahart, who had been forcibly keeping his seat in the office.

A rough breath, mixed with curses, came out instead of a groan. He felt as though his veins were burning up, and his vision turned black with pain.

“Ugh… Ha.”

Lahart groped his chest. He wasn’t struggling to endure the pain. He was looking for something.

His desperate and wandering fingertips touched something hard. Lahart gripped it tightly.

Perhaps because it was always closest to his heart, its smooth surface felt hot, holding body temperature.

What Lahart pulled out from his clothes was the antidote Iren had left behind.

“Ha, ha…”

After collapsing in the couple’s bedroom, doctors who came one after another unanimously said. If the Duchess made medicine, you should take it quickly. Or there is no other way.

Lahart snorted at them. Pathetic things. The solution put forth by these so-called doctors was to rely on a dead woman.

He had no intention of drinking this antidote. Even if he were to die tomorrow.

It wasn’t because Iren died, or that he was suddenly painfully aware of her absence.

He originally did not want Iren’s antidote. He told her to give up on such a thing as a way to torment her, but he was also half sincere.

Because then Iren would never dare leave his side.

Iren was a woman with strong responsibility. At the same time, she was compassionate and tender-hearted to the point where she was nearly beaten to death by Count Phaeson for releasing a test subject used for testing poison and antidote, and was despised by her family members.

There was no better excuse to keep such a woman than the dark purple scar that covered half of his body.

As long as his scars remained, Iren could never leave his side. Her hypocritical and petty guilt, as well as her sense of responsibility would hold her feet.

They were emotions stronger and more persistent than love.

Like the hatred and resentment that swallowed him up.

“I was right, Iren.”

You died as soon as you completed the antidote. You left me forever.

Not a single particle of dust remained in the laboratory you first asked me for and received from me. All you left me were the antidote, a few lines of a will, and the d*mn scars and aftereffects.

If I drink the antidote, two of those will disappear. Just a piece of paper will become the only trace of your existence in this world.

That arrogant piece of paper asking me to burn it.

Isn’t it funny? I waited for you for 5 years, lived with you for 5 years, and yet that’s all I’m left with.

“I like you, Lahart. I like you.”

“It’s a lie. You didn’t love me.”

If you liked me, if you loved me, you should have been with me even after completing the antidote.
Me being left alone like this is clear evidence that you didn’t love me.

Now not only my heart but also my head began to hurt.

It’s torturous. Painful. It was terrible pain that shook even my soul, whether it came from my body or my heart, I couldn’t tell.

Lahart gripped the bottle containing the antidote and brought it to his chest.

The pain was far from subsiding, because it intensified even more. Even he, who had crossed the line between life and death countless times, could hardly maintain his sanity any longer.

Lahart put the bottle in his chest and indiscriminately popped into his mouth the medicine prescribed by doctors.

His body was resistant to poison and drugs, so ordinary painkillers or sleeping pills had no effect on him. Eventually, doctors prescribed drugs strong enough to cause hallucinations and auditory hallucinations.

Robben expressed his concern, but Lahart didn’t care at all. Instead, he was actually a bit happy.

After swallowing four bottles of medicine, Lahart leaned back against the backrest and tilted his head back. Shortly after, his prominent Adam’s apple under his sculpted jawline wriggled up and down strikingly.

“Did you want to meet me so badly?”

“Aah…”

One corner of Lahart’s mouth rose up. He slowly opened the eyes he had closed. Iren was standing behind him, cupping his face with both hands.

“You hated me.”

“I did.”

“Sometimes you even hated hearing me breathe.”

“I hated you.”

Iren bit her lower lip. Lahart clicked his tongue lowly and slightly pulled Iren’s lip away to stop her from biting.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to bite?”

“It’s no use telling me. I’m not a living person.”

Lahart’s expression darkened.

Iren, no, Iren’s illusion looked down at him and quietly smiled.

I know this flickering before my eyes is a hallucination caused by the drugs.

I know it will scatter like smoke when the drug wears off, and I know that I’m not actually having a conversation but talking to myself.

But still, Lahart wanted to meet Iren like this. That’s why he kept swallowing the medicine that didn’t ease his pain at all.

Because if he did, he could meet her for a moment.

“I thought you would be happy if I died.”

“Happy and joyous. Madly so.”

Iren didn’t answer. Her clear figure gradually faded away until the landscape could be seen through her black hair as she quickly became transparent.

Lahart placed his hand on Iren’s hand that rested on his shoulder.

“Still, I preferred having you by my side.”

Iren’s illusion disappeared, as if to mock him for thinking so. Lahart gripped his shoulder fiercely.

“It’s like hell.”

* * *

Iren has been busier than ever since moving to Ratuna.

First, she gathered information about the improvement party1 from customers coming to the store. Although the exact date had not been set, most believed that Duke Cardius would come to the capital within two months.

Lucia would want to leave for the capital before then, so she thought she had just about a month left to prepare.

There wasn’t enough time to prepare for the move. The size of her shop had grown quite a bit over the past year, so it took her some time to organize.

‘If you dawdle, you’ll get caught before you even leave. Let’s just take what we need and leave the rest behind.’

If she openly showed movements to permanently close the store, the Countess would notice. Iren decided to sell what she could and turn it into money and leave Ratuna.

She had just extended the house contract not long ago, but she wasn’t sorry. As long as she had enough money to clothe and feed Rian, that was enough. And she had the ability to earn that much money.

“Rian.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“If Mom and Rian were to go on a trip, is there anywhere you’d want to go?”

After dinner, Iren asked Rian, sitting him on her lap.

Until now, because Rian was young and Iren lacked the time, she chose their destination alone, but this time she wanted to hear Rian’s opinion. She felt sorry for Rian, who thought that he would stay here for a long time.

“Anywhere is fine if I’m with Mom.”

“Me too. But really, isn’t there anywhere? Somewhere you’ve been curious about. Anywhere is fine.”

“Um… If that’s the case.”

Rian mumbled while fiddling with a fist-sized ball.

“I’d like to go somewhere where it snows.”

“Snow? The kind that falls from the sky?”

“Yeah. White snow. I’ve only seen it in fairy tales, so I want to see it outside of books too.”

She was suddenly at a loss for words. That’s right, Rian had never seen snow firsthand.

Iren put Rian to bed and sat at the dining table. A map was spread out in front of her. Circles were drawn all over the worn map. Places Iren and Rian had passed through.

Iren’s gaze naturally moved upward. The top of the map was painted black, as if ink was poured over it. It wasn’t a printing error; Iren had painted it herself.

Sirencia, that person’s territory, did not exist for Iren.

“I really…”

Iren pressed her forehead with one hand. The circles she marked on the map did not go above a certain line. It seemed her subconscious desperately refused to get closer to Sirencia.

In the south of the empire, the temperature was high even in the winter, so it hardly snowed. It was natural that Rian had not seen snow.

Iren wanted to show Rian snow. She wanted to let him throw snowballs and make a snowman.

But not now.

‘Just wait a little longer, Rian. Mom will definitely show you snow.’

Iren looked at Sirencia covered in black ink and closed the map.

* * *

“When can I leave? My cough is almost gone.”

“The most dangerous time is when you think you’re completely healed. You need to manage it properly now to avoid a relapse. Please bear with it for a few more days.”

“How long should I wait? Molina, that girl, has already arrived at the capital!”

Lucia threw a jewelry box. Various ornaments popped out and rolled on the floor.

Iren ignored Lucia completely and packed her bag. Lucia, even more angered by Iren’s unshaken demeanor, fumed.

“If you’re playing tricks because you don’t want to leave, I won’t let it go! Do you not care what happens to your son?”

“I am being paid by the Countess to treat you as compensation, Miss. Even if you threaten me, I will do my job.”