WYDM 19

It felt like wandering through endless brush.

Intermittent, terrible pain radiated from his left shoulder. But the agony couldn’t stop his steps as he wandered through the thicket.

Yet this world seemed to contain nothing but brush rising to his waist. No matter how much he pushed through and walked, it never ended.

No, he wasn’t walking to find the edge of the brush right now. What he was searching for was… searching for… was…

“…! …!”

He opened his mouth wide and tried to call for it, but no sound came out.

He’d pulled the voice up from his chest, but he couldn’t tell whether it failed to become sound, or whether something blocked the sound from being heard.

Thinking he couldn’t even call for what he desperately sought, thinking this sound wouldn’t reach even if he called desperately—he despaired. No matter where he looked around, there was nothing.

Having lost even the direction to go, he stopped in place. Even trying to call out once more, the sound didn’t ring against his eardrums.

Tears welled in his eyes and veins stood out clearly on his neck. His ash-gray eyes had lost their warmth and filled completely with madness before collapsing.

“…!”

With even his final roar swallowed, he was consumed by the brush.

“Hnngh…!!”

His eyes opened. And trying to draw breath, he had to open his eyes wide and scream soundlessly at the extreme pain that seemed to press down on his body.

He had the instinct that making a sound at this moment would bring pain that felt like death.

Holding his breath and enduring the pain, he resembled himself making that final roar in his dream.

“Hnngh…”

As the pain barely subsided, he carefully released the breath he’d been holding through clenched teeth. Once low, slow breathing finally became possible, what came to his mind after the pain was memory.

The ambush succeeded. Eliminating just one overall commander meant nothing.

If the individual unit commanders stepped up and united, it would be over, so to behead the commander and six others, he and ten knights had infiltrated enemy territory all at once like assassins.

But the commander was still a commander—even while dying with blood spurting from his throat during the ambush, he’d driven his dagger into Ethan’s chest.

If luck had favored him just a bit more with positioning, it would have pierced his heart and more, but he’d managed to dodge downward instead of upward, reaching that position.

Barely escaping the tent and hiding, crouching and moving among many sentries, he’d been able to witness everyone else escaping their tents.

Even if one or two had been caught, they’d ultimately lost all their leaders, so they would have retreated.

Since that was the objective, even while enduring this death-like pain, he thought it fortunate.

It had been truly reckless, an operation that could bring dishonor to knights for whom frontal combat was the highest virtue.

Those who followed probably didn’t do so out of respect for him. As commander, directing them was entirely in his hands.

He tried breathing deeply once more. The death-like pain that struck was indeed somewhere between his left shoulder and heart. It hurt so much it even felt like his heart had truly been pierced.

“Oh my! You’re awake? Oh goodness!”

Then suddenly a noisy young woman’s voice came from the door. Come to think of it, one more thing he was curious about was where this place was.

He remembered desperately fleeing alone, slipping into a neighboring village, entering through a hole in a large estate’s wall, and collapsing like meeting death.

And this place. The shout from the entrance sounded quite distant and echoed. A room spacious enough for that, with a large, soft bed. This was a noble’s estate.

Because of his throbbing headache, he tried to open his mouth but had to close it again.

The girl who’d let out a resounding shout at the entrance and came running in with lively footsteps—he thought she might be quite childish, unable to read the atmosphere and making loud noises.

But when she came close, wet a towel in water, wrung out the moisture, and began wiping visible parts of his body like his hands and face, he was slightly impressed by those small but capable hands.

“How long have I…”

He opened his mouth to resolve his curiosity, then closed it because of his completely blocked voice.

It had definitely been that way in the dream tormenting him. No matter how hard he tried to shout, no sound rang against his eardrums.

Though he’d injured his shoulder, the fact that no sound came out had made him panic and despair even in his dream—that memory felt like it was overwhelming him in reality now, a terrifying feeling.

Hearing his voice barely come out even now, that nightmare came to mind and he closed his mouth.

And the girl who’d been close beside him, hearing that sound clearly while tidying the towel she’d been using to wipe him, looked at him with sparkling eyes, seemingly moved that he’d spoken.

“Are you alright? Your voice is very hoarse. I heard you suffered a severe shoulder wound. We took measures as soon as we found you, but the doctor said we’d have to watch to see how bad it still is. He said it would hurt tremendously. There are ways to ease the pain? Numb it…? Anyway, to make you feel it less, ah, we did use that method, but he said when you wake up you’ll probably hurt terribly for a while. When it hurts that much, please tell me or whoever’s nearby. He said he’d give you medicine to ease the pain.”

She poured everything out like rapid fire. Having spoken until breathless, she looked around.

She seemed to be considering whether to keep watching here or call someone, so he quietly closed his mouth and watched her.

“Would you be alright? There’s someone I was supposed to bring once you woke up.”

And what the girl brought up was surprisingly weighty.

She looked at the man furrowing his brow and shook her head.

“They said you shouldn’t try to move. Right now if you get up with that body it’ll hurt tremendously, so let today pass like this and rest comfortably for a few days.”

Her blunt voice could be felt as full of complaints, but somehow to Ethan it sounded like words full of concern.

“Ahem, ahem!”

He cleared his throat because of how clogged it was, and watched the girl’s shoulders jump in surprise at that heavy sound.

Fortunately, the nightmare hadn’t become reality. His voice was just hoarse, not completely gone.

Having been this hurt more than once or twice, he didn’t become frightened by pain. But every time her voice trembled, it seemed because of his condition, which did bother him somewhat.

In fact, having nightmares like that while unconscious from bodily pain wasn’t coincidence.

Because there had always been… her, whom he wanted to nurse him when hurt but had no choice but to refuse.

‘Don’t come in!’

‘But… you’re injured. Let me nurse you…’

‘What nursing could you do? There’s a doctor here, so get out!’

The continued quarrel every time he was hurt, her disappointed voice within it… vividly tormented his mind. Eventually he squeezed his eyes shut, even missing what the girl was saying.

Every time he was injured and hurt, he knew she always tried to be by his side. He couldn’t not know.

But… he simply couldn’t keep her close. He wanted to ask back—what man would want to show weakness to his woman?

“Ngh…!”

Whether his body had flinched without him knowing, the pain suddenly overwhelming his entire body nearly made him lose consciousness. He felt goosebumps rise all over and cold sweat pour from his head.

Even after unclenching his teeth after the intense pain, he couldn’t even groan. One wrong breath and that hellish pain from before might return.

“Ha, ah… ha… ah.”

After barely, carefully releasing breaths in and out, Ethan bit his lip hard.

Like this… when it’s always like this, how could he show her this?

It made no sense.

He didn’t have the capacity to consider how she—who couldn’t possibly understand that kind of male pride—felt. He always had to fight himself, fight his wounds, fight illness.

Ethan carefully lowered his eyes beneath the barely subsided pain. After the carefully released exhale, he could breathe more easily than before.

Anyway, this life gets to cling on tenaciously another day.

Whether he should thank whoever saved him or throw a punch, he wasn’t sure… but since he’s alive anyway, he added the world’s most modest wish that this pain would subside just a bit.

* * *

“Miss! Miss!”

Sana’s voice began echoing noisily from the far end of the long corridor. At that approaching voice, Romina, who’d just started making dessert, let out a big sigh.

“Miss! He’s awake!”

Regardless of Romina’s concern, that voice burst open the dining room door and shouted just that.

Sehera, who’d been sitting alone at the table eating slowly, stood up immediately without delay. Romina, who’d quickly come out of the kitchen, sighed again loudly at the sight.

“He woke up earlier, so I treated him, and I told him what Himoph said about how it would hurt when he woke up. Then I came out to find you, Miss.”

“Sana, call Himoph. Romina, thank you.”

Leaving only those brief words, Sehera pressed her lips together, seemingly forgetting she’d been eating until just now, and left the dining room retracing the path Sana had entered.

Tap tap tap—listening to the urgent footsteps fade, Romina clicked her tongue.

“Ugh, she could’ve been told later! She only just took a few spoonfuls.”

She’d barely managed to coax and seat her, who couldn’t eat properly on time while nursing that suddenly appearing man. Until now, she’d made simple bread and soup to bring to her room or made sandwiches to bring up so she could eat in her room.

“Ah… come to think of it, isn’t this the first time in two days she’s eating a warm meal in the dining room?”

Only then did Sana seem to come to her senses and say that. Too delighted that the man had woken up, she’d immediately run to find her.