CATIP 12

CHAPTER :12

My wandering steps led this fragile body to the temple.

The guards standing duty outside the temple bowed their heads upon seeing me.

Giving them a slight nod, I pushed open the doors with familiar ease.

The temple’s characteristically cold, heavy air welcomed me.

An empty, vacant hall where no one remained. The scent of desolation drifting through.

I walked past the long pews lined up in neat rows.

At the end, a statue sculpted in pure white looked down upon me.

Sitting beneath the statue as if it belonged there was a piano made of crystal.

This crystal piano was a wedding gift from him, given to me as my husband when I married.

Perhaps that was why.

This cold glass, standing solitary watch over the temple, felt so much like me. I approached and sat down before it, tracing the keys with my fingertips.

The familiar texture of the wood. I pressed down, firmly, on a white key.

Do, do, do…

The heavy yet resonant note quietly echoed. The empty hall was instantly filled with that single tone.

Without fail, the language only I could see was born thick and fast within me. It begged me to bring it into existence right here.

Letting a hollow smile trace my lips, I composed what would likely be the final piece of my life.

The rich and beautiful melody seemed to bestow a blessing upon the final steps of my life.

Even if I were to see another language of God, I would never convey it to the world again.

Looking up at the statue that gazed down at me after my final performance, I whispered.

— O God, if there was even a shred of meaning to my life…

On the day I return to Your embrace.

If You were to meet me, please tell me that the praise I offered You was beautiful to hear.

Please comfort me, and tell me that the path I walked was not unsightly.

— …Goodbye.

Murmuring a quiet farewell, I stood up from my seat.

I gripped the hammer that always lay in the temple.

Then, without hesitation, I swung my arm toward the piano.

Instead of a gentle melody, a loud *crash!* erupted.

The incredibly fragile crystal shattered into pieces.

Watching the transparent shards scattering through the air, I thought:

*What were you to me?*

You, who gave me everything in the world, defined who I was, and at the same time, made it impossible for me to just be myself.

I swung my hand again. *Shatter!* A loud resonance echoed.

*What on earth were you to me?*

A nothing that was something. Something that gave me everything, only to take everything away in the end.

Yet at the same time, a piece of my soul, born from my heart.

The greatest praise offered to God. The words God delivers to humans.

Ultimately, something spun from my own fingertips—my very own creation that I brought to life.

The shattered crystal slowly began to lose its shape.

What would my life have been like if I hadn’t met you? Would I still be wandering from one shabby, filthy slum to another, struggling to survive?

Without ever meeting the King who inflicted the deepest wounds upon me, or him—the man I could never quite define.

*Crash.*

At last, with a harsh noise, the instrument collapsed completely.

Scattering glass shards, fractured crystal, along with wires, keys, hammers, and pedals tangled together in a chaotic mess.

Gazing at the ruin, a very strange sensation washed over me.

How should I put it? Would it be accurate to say my heart was pounding with the thrill of my very first rebellion?

Just as a smile began to play on my lips, the tightly closed doors burst open.

— Consort!

Letting out a sharp gasp, you rushed deep into the temple.

He stared at me clutching the hammer, and then at the crystal shards reduced to a wretched ruin.

His trembling crimson eyes shook restlessly.

Confusion, shock, anger, and disbelief.

A tempest of emotions was directed at me.

— What in the world… What is the meaning of this?

Only after those words reached me did I open my mouth, acting as if nothing had happened.

— You’ve arrived, Your Highness.

— …

My nonchalant attitude must have hit him like a blow to the back of the head.

Wearing an expression I had never seen before in my life, my husband simply stared at me for a long time.

— Have you finally…

After a long, heavy silence, his lips trembled.

The words he carefully chose barely managed to escape his lips.

— …Have you finally lost your mind, Consort?

— My mind is perfectly clear.

Replying nonchalantly, I looked down at the tragic yet beautiful ruin.

I meant it.

Ever since I learned of the prophecy, my mind had never been as clear as it was today.

Perhaps my eyes, looking up at him, were as clear as a cloudless sky.

A hollow chuckle escaped me of its own accord.

— Since there will be no one left to play it anyway… I simply wanted to lay it to rest with my own hands.

Even down to the smallest shard of its remains.

I would lay them quietly to rest in a crystal-clear lake.

A pair of hands grabbed my shoulders with a rough, sudden force.

— Consort!

At your shout, the hammer I had been holding slipped from my grasp.

*Thud!* The heavy hammer slammed into the marble floor, its loud clang echoing sharply through the empty hall.

— I already told you, I will never, under any circumstances, send you back to the Kingdom.

…Was it only natural that he interpreted my words that way?

I suppose so. I only knew because the prophecy had been handed down, and because I could read it.

My husband could never have imagined that my life was drawing to a close.

His chillingly dark eyes glared at me as if they would consume me whole.

— Whether you live or die, Consort, you will do so here.

— …Yes.

Blinking once as I met his gaze, I replied through my teeth.

— I will follow your will, Your Highness.

My indifferent reply seemed to catch him off guard instead.

Looking straight up at him, I continued.

— I will die by your side.

I only had a mere 120 days left anyway.

Your fleeting moment and my eternity were intersecting.

If this was your choice—to pass through the brief moment of “me,” who had somehow become entangled in your universe.

If you would not let go of me now, and if I could not escape you that way, then I felt it was only right to follow your will.

I would spend my remaining time like this, doing what I could one by one, before finally closing my eyes by your side.

That, too, must have been another wish of mine.

* * *

#D-119

— Um… His Highness the Grand Duke seemed to be terribly shocked.

In the morning, the maid combing my hair spoke up cautiously.

I couldn’t immediately grasp what her words meant.

— Pardon?

— Did you really break it, Your Highness? The temple piano, I mean.

Without giving a yes or no, I fell into deep thought.

What was the reason for asking to confirm something everyone already knew?

Perhaps rumors were already rife among the maids that the Grand Duchess had lost her mind.

I, too, knew it wasn’t something anyone in their right mind would do.

What would happen if this rumor reached the Kingdom?

Would the King fly into a rage, screaming that I had tarnished his honor?

The King’s face, turning pale with rage, naturally surfaced in my mind.

At the same time, a doubt began to bloom within me.

A doubt that perhaps I was expecting too much from the King.

The King, who didn’t even consider me his child, might just scoff and dismiss it as none of his business, even if he heard the strange rumors about me.

No, no.

In truth, I had no way of knowing.

Just as much as the King hated me, there was nothing I truly knew about him.

— His Highness the Grand Duke went through so much trouble to get it before your wedding.

She spoke as if taking his side.

— It’s because it was crafted by the previous ‘Seer’ themselves. The temple was very reluctant to let it go, so I heard His Highness had quite a difficult time.

— …

Ah, what a contradiction.

An ancestor from generations ago had created it, yet a successor who appeared after so long failed to carry on their legacy and shattered it instead.

— They say he barely managed to convince the temple by telling them it was a gift for the ‘Seer’ who had finally appeared after so long. If I may say so, I believe it was worth all of His Highness’s efforts. It was truly beautiful… It’s such a shame we’ll never see it again.

The maid murmured with regret.

I didn’t know if the word “beautiful” was a fitting modifier for an instrument, but even to my eyes, that crystal piano had been beautiful.

Especially when the morning sun poured over it, I would search for every word in the world to describe the brilliance that filled me.

The blinding, ecstatic radiance poured out by the transparent glass facing the pure white sun.

The movements that spun the melodies, and even the moments when the music I birthed echoed endlessly from the dark beyond, confronting me.

Recalling all of it, I finally realized, with a sudden shock, what I had actually done.

For I was the one who had destroyed the only ecstasy I alone knew.

Yet there was no regret. On the contrary, I felt a sense of relief.

Ultimately, recalling the source of everything, I looked at the maid reflected in the mirror.

Seeing her catch my eye in the reflection, I gently curved my eyes into a soft smile.

— Court Lady.

— Yes, Your Highness.

— Even when I am gone…

My throat tightened, feeling as though I was leaving behind a futile last will and testament.