CATIP 13

CHAPTER :13

– Please visit the temple once in a while. Dust will pile up on the sheet music offered before the divine statue, so I would appreciate it if you, court lady, would wipe it clean.

At the specific request, the hand of the lady-in-waiting who was combing my hair slowly slid down.

Her eyes, reflected in the mirror, shook restlessly.

At that sight, I tilted my head.

– What is the matter?

– Um… Your Highness.

– Yes?

– I dare to ask Your Highness a question. Do you really… sincerely wish to return to the kingdom?

I blinked once at the unexpected question.

Recalling the words I had heard from my husband, I couldn’t give an answer, and while I hesitated, the lady-in-waiting asked again.

– Is there any particular reason?

The lady-in-waiting’s clear eyes welled with tears, catching me off guard.

– I-I am sorry. I shouldn’t pretend to know what happens in the bedchamber… but I can no longer imagine the Grand Ducal Palace without Your Highness… If you really must return…

Was she overcome with emotion? She gasped for breath as tears rolled down her cheeks.

– Please take me, take me with you as well.

Then, her shoulders shaking, she burst into sorrowful tears.

It was only natural that a strange, indescribable feeling washed over me.

She and I had been together for six years.

As one of the chief ladies-in-waiting of the Grand Duchess’s palace, she had been by my side ever since the day I arrived in the Grand Duchy.

Even so, I had never expected such a reaction.

Because we had always maintained a certain distance.

– I think Your Highness is a truly wonderful person. I want to serve you by your side for the rest of my life. I will stay with you, Your Highness, always and forever.

Suddenly, a corner of my heart felt warmly colored.

I patted her fragile shoulders.

– I am… not going anywhere.

The lady-in-waiting snapped her head up.

What was she trying to tell me with eyes that had turned red in an instant?

– I was merely throwing a small tantrum to His Highness. Since he refused, that is the end of the matter. My life is here.

– Is that truly so?

– Yes.

I quietly added the reality that I could never escape.

– From now on, even if I die… I will die in the Grand Duchy, so do not worry.

– Do you promise?

– Yes.

At my reply, the lady-in-waiting wiped her tears away.

Then, she asked in a tiny, crawling voice.

– But… then why did you break the piano?

– Just…

I lowered my eyes.

– I wanted to do what I wanted to do.

Largo, one of the things I had written down for you.

The third: To live as myself.

Even if only for a short while, to exist not as the ‘Seer,’ nor the Grand Duchess, nor the illegitimate princess of the kingdom, but simply as myself.

Therefore, the thing that defined my current self had to be shattered.

I felt that only without that beautiful object could I truly become myself.

From now on, until the day I die—which is not far off—there would be no praising the gods.

I drew a line under my first-ever simple desire realized.

Now, the next, the next, and the next.

I decided to be a little more greedy.

– Then, which ornament should we use today?

Had she gotten the answer she wanted?

Leaving behind her tear-choked voice, the lady-in-waiting’s hands moved gently once more.

– Would black pearls be good? Oh, we have the lapis lazuli His Highness the Grand Duke sent yesterday.

As she held her breath and whispered with an effort to sound cheerful, a small voice was heard.

– Your Highness, I have brought the rinse water.

A young maid appeared holding a tray and a small cup.

She was a child of at most fifteen or sixteen.

Setting the tray down in its designated spot, the girl stared intently at the back of my neck.

Her gaze was blatant.

Because of this, the lady-in-waiting who was choosing the ornaments flared up in anger on my behalf.

– What is this insolence? How dare you lift your head so high!

– No, it’s just…

Her voice trailed off cautiously.

The girl’s eyes wavered as she looked at the lady-in-waiting.

– Um, Chief Lady… I don’t know if I should say this…

– Yes?

– Well, it seems the letters written on the back of Her Highness’s neck have changed…

It was a moment that made me freeze for no reason as I sat with my head in the lady-in-waiting’s hands.

Did this young child remember?

This small phrase that changed ever so slightly day by day.

This child only saw the back of my neck every morning during this brief window of less than five minutes.

– I wondered if the gods had handed down another prophecy… I-I was just curious… Is, is this not allowed?

Listening to the timidly muttering young voice—I had to turn my head at a sudden realization.

Only three people in a generation could see, hear, and recite the language of the gods.

Although they could see the pitch-black writing, most perceived it merely as a series of complex, continuous lines. The vast majority of people could not recognize what it was.

Even I couldn’t clearly read what it meant until I fully awakened as a ‘Seer.’

Therefore, there were only three people who could read and realize that these unrecognizable letters had “changed.”

I reached out as if possessed.

My hand, cutting sharply through the air, grabbed the girl’s chin.

I stared straight into her face.

– Y-Your Highness…?

Staring blankly, soaked in bewilderment. The pitch-black eyes looking up at me were like a mirror.

My face must have worn an indescribable expression.

An expression like a demon risen from hell, or perhaps like a wailing soul that had swallowed despair and frustration.

In the suddenly chilled atmosphere, the girl’s lips trembled as she looked up at me.

Frightened, her dark eyes filled with tears.

– I-I’m sorry. Please forgive my rudeness.

Her voice, offering apologies, sounded distant.

I could only lament in a daze.

It is you.

Ah, it is you.

The new ‘Seer’ whom the gods have chosen in my stead.

The reason why the gods now wish to take me into their embrace.

The one who, in the end, is erasing me from this world.

– Why…

I muttered in a hollow voice.

I couldn’t describe the complex emotions boiling up inside my chest right now.

Why are you by my side?

Soon enough, you too will naturally see what the gods speak of.

You won’t just stop at perceiving that it has changed; you will read what it means and deliver it to the world.

In my place, just as I have done.

In a world without me, a world where I will not exist.

– No, it’s alright… I’m not angry, so do not worry.

Releasing the girl’s chin, I mumbled blankly.

She was a child of at most fifteen or sixteen, likely around the same age as when I first became a Seer.

She knew nothing, and she wouldn’t even be able to guess what lay ahead of her.

I had no choice but to remind myself.

The day you realize who you are, I must turn my back on this life, but—

—not even a speck of that is your fault.

– You are right. The words the gods are conveying to me have changed.

However, it was inevitable that this child’s presence would bring me other worries.

I looked back at the two maids who had frozen solid during the brief exchange.

Instead of an apology that might burden them, I spoke as gently as possible.

– Would you like to go boating around lunchtime?

– Boating?

The lady-in-waiting who had been combing my hair finally spoke.

She was clutching her chest as if relieved, which made me feel deeply apologetic.

– What brought this on, Your Highness?

– I feel I have been too neglectful because I only stayed in the temple.

Facing her, I smiled as brightly as I could.

The muscles of my face strained at an expression I had never made before in my life.

– I plan to act like a proper Grand Duchess now.

Even if just a little, during the brief time left to me.

Ah, Largo.

I only wanted to spend these moments without any regrets.

These moments, every single minute and second, which were so incredibly precious.

* * *

The day was bright and sunny.

We floated a boat on the deep blue lake, and I was sitting on the grass enjoying the laughter of my maids when it happened.

– It seems the Grand Duchess has had a change of heart.

At his sudden appearance—likely having heard the news—everyone bowed their heads.

– Your Highness.

– We greet Your Highness.

Giving them a light nod, he looked at me.

– This is the first time I have seen you enjoy your leisure so peacefully, Grand Duchess.

It was just as he said.

In truth, even I felt awkward during this time.

– Whenever I thought of you, the only image that came to mind was always of you offering praise to the gods in the light-drenched temple.

At that moment, I realized.

Perhaps he had been dissatisfied with this all along.

Since the Grand Duchess had cooped herself up in the temple, neglecting her duties.

If I were in his shoes, I thought, it wouldn’t have been very pleasant.

Does a person mature when death approaches?

I was only now realizing something so obvious.

– Ah.

The corner of his mouth suddenly curled up in a crooked smirk.

– I suppose you can no longer do that, since you went and smashed it.