CATIP 14

CHAPTER :14

At this unexpected confrontation, silence rippled through the maids.

Not even daring to breathe too loudly, they began to steal wary glances at him.

I was used to this, but they certainly weren’t.

Standing amidst the maids, who had clammed up tightly, I let out a small sigh.

“Your Highness.”

“Yes, Princess.”

“I heard only recently that you went to great lengths to obtain that piano. Had I known sooner, I would not have committed such an embarrassing blunder.”

His lips, curled in a crooked smirk, twitched slightly.

My response was likely not the answer he had been hoping for.

Words as twisted as those lips slipped past yours.

“You really couldn’t care less, could you?”

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say he was thoroughly sulking about something.

At least, that was how it looked to my eyes then.

However, the relationships I had formed in my life so far had been extremely limited.

It would not be an exaggeration to say that he—my husband—was the entirety of my small world.

I did not know how to handle people in times like this.

And that was no different even for you, who occupied the vast majority of my tiny world.

It was likely something I could never learn, even if an eternity were to pass.

Though, in truth, I no longer had the time to learn and make up for my shortcomings anyway.

“……Yes, unfortunately, it was my oversight.”

It was a prompt reply, offered with a single bow of my head. That was the best I could do.

Yet, this did not seem to be the answer he wanted either.

Whatever had displeased him this time, his brows furrowed sharply.

At this clear display of displeasure, the maids, who were already walking on eggshells, quickly lowered their heads and pretended to look elsewhere.

I knew instinctively that something was going awry, but I had no way to correct it.

All I could do was ramble on, as if making excuses.

“However, Your Highness. Regrettably, I do not believe this is a matter that concerns my lack of interest alone.”

“Not a matter that concerns your lack of interest alone? What is that supposed to mean?”

“Could you not have told me beforehand, Your Highness? Had I known how much care you had poured into it, I would never have done such a thing. Having heard nothing, I simply assumed it was a standard wedding gift from the Grand Duchy.”

At that, he let out a dry laugh, opening his mouth as if dumbfounded before shutting it again.

His cold words followed.

“Everyone else seemed to know, yet you are the only one who didn’t, Princess.”

Speechless, I could only part my lips.

“…….”

“Did you honestly think an instrument of that caliber was just lying around anywhere?”

Under his suffocating words, a wave of rebuttals swelled within my chest, but I could not find the words to express them.

Except, only.

Put another way, it meant that everyone else shared the knowledge among themselves, yet deliberately kept me in the dark.

Did he truly not realize that such was the extent of my standing here?

An accusation, disguised as a statement of fact, followed.

“You are indifferent to everything. I have always wondered how someone so detached could be so passionate when sitting before it.”

Was I passionate in front of the piano?

Unbidden, the memory of our very first meeting seemed to flash before my eyes.

A day that, in hindsight, was nothing special.

A deep blue summer that might have been nothing more than a fleeting moment to you.

Yet on that unforgettable, brilliant white day, you had told me you were curious about the world reflected in my eyes.

Even if a lifetime were to pass, and even when the rapidly approaching end of my life finally arrived.

I would likely never truly understand what those words meant.

It felt as though an insurmountable wall of misunderstandings had piled up between us.

Something that would never end, no matter how much we cleared or sorted through it.

Even with the person I shared a bed with, human relationships were this difficult.

Turning my head away to avoid his gaze, I changed the subject.

“……So, what brings you all this way?”

“Have I come somewhere I am not allowed?”

“You know that is not what I meant.”

As if realizing he had been acting petty, he looked around the area to ease the tension.

He scanned the picnic mat on the grass, the refreshments, the parasol, and the maids huddled together, clicking his tongue.

“I simply couldn’t believe that you had stepped outside the temple. I wanted to see it for myself.”

……As if I had wanted to remain cooped up in the temple.

Looking back, perhaps I simply hadn’t known what to do.

Or perhaps I had wanted to turn away from the reality unfolding before my eyes.

And so, I had merely sat there in silence, without a single thought, in the only place that offered me something to do.

“Of course, even if you go back and sit there, you have nothing left to do now.”

We had come full circle, right back to that topic.

I could not fathom what intention lay behind his words.

Was it because I had ruthlessly destroyed his gift? Or was it something else entirely?

He, who occupied the largest space in my narrow world, was far too difficult a person for me to understand.

“……Then, will you give me something to do again?”

I asked somewhat defiantly.

In truth, it was no longer a useful object to me.

But my eyes caught the young maid hovering nearby, watching us anxiously.

The one who would follow in my footsteps, offering unstinting praise to God.

Just as praising God was once my life, so it would become hers.

Though I would fade away because of you, shouldn’t I at least leave something behind?

Now that I have come to know of your existence.

Might a person like me be able to serve as a gift to you?

He let out a scoffing chuckle.

“Is that something to say after you were the one who destroyed it?”

“Oh dear. I really can’t tell if the two of you get along or not.”

Just then, an older maid gently interjected between us.

It seemed to require a great deal of courage.

Soon, her presence began to soothe the tense, fearful atmosphere.

“Your Highness, the Princess does not seem to be entirely wrong. If you find it regrettable, why not bring in a new one? One that is as beautiful as the Princess herself.”

“……How did the conversation turn to that?”

“It simply seems to me that you are disappointed you can no longer watch her doing what you love most.”

“Madame.”

“Well, that is simply how it sounded to my ears. And if you wish to see her play again, wouldn’t that be the quickest way?”

At the maid’s skillful retort, his brow twitched once more.

The maid turned to me, her eyes crinkling in a warm smile.

“Your Highness, His Grace would always watch you. Whenever the sunlight streamed through the window, your……”

“Enough.”

“His Grace is simply too shy. And so……”

“Very well.”

He coldly cut the maid off.

The maid offered a gentle smile.

He abruptly turned his head away, as if avoiding the maid’s gaze.

“Will it suffice if I give you something to do, as you have requested?”

“I am grateful for your consideration, Your Highness.”

Though I was not sure if I would ever sit before it again.

……Or rather, if I would even live long enough to lay eyes on the instrument.

“Princess.”

“Yes?”

“One thing.”

The words *I have a request* died behind his teeth.

“When the new one arrives, play it for me first.”

“……What?”

I had no choice but to ask back in a dazed voice.

Would God permit the language created solely for Him to be offered to a mere mortal?

“I do not know if it is permitted, as it is something I have never done before……”

My voice trailed off as I thought to myself.

That perhaps it might be possible if I simply turned a blind eye.

Surely I would not be struck down by divine punishment merely for keeping my eyes on God while letting my heart think of someone else.

“Will you also grant me one wish, Your Highness?”

“As long as it is not something like returning to your kingdom, I will grant you anything.”

“Even if you were to beg me to return now, I wouldn’t leave. I will cling stubbornly to this duchy, so you need not worry, Your Highness.”

Seeing how he brought it up again and again, I realized that mentioning my desire to return to the kingdom had indeed been a grave mistake.

“Then what is it?”

“I would like to explore the capital of the duchy. Its darkest place, and its brightest.”

He tilted his head at my words.

The eyes observing me grew heavy.

“Lately…… you have been strange.”

It would be stranger still if I were normal.

It was a wonder I could even recognize myself at all anymore.

“Have you grown homesick?”

“Is there anyone who does not yearn for their homeland? To say I do not miss it would be to lie to myself.”

There was a memory that came to mind whenever I closed my eyes.

A small, shabby house. A cramped room with only a few pieces of furniture. My mother, lying on a worn bed, smiling as she called my name.

Her warm hand would stroke my hair, and her voice, echoing like a song, would always bring up memories of the past.

Most of them were memories of the King, and those times had been the most beautiful days of her world.

Even when every single day was painful and miserable, she never let go of her final hope.

A beautiful woman who always did her absolute best.

“However…… the place I miss is not the palace.”

I longed for my mother’s cradle, bathed in moonlight.

Like a salmon returning to its birthplace to spawn and die.